


Darling, Dearest, Dead

by letthebookbegin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:49:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21652540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letthebookbegin/pseuds/letthebookbegin
Summary: The outcome of the First Wizarding War is centered around five people. They begin their fight inseparable, with an unshakeable trust in each other; they end war-torn and weary, two dead, one a traitor, one wrongfully imprisoned, and the last a miserable survivor.This is the story of Lily and the Marauders in their days spent fighting in the Order of the Phoenix, and how everything changed so drastically.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter
Comments: 11
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note - I've written Euphemia Potter as Indian here, and she uses a few words of Urdu, which I'll translate here -   
> haan, haan, aao - yes, yes, come here  
> beta - child, term of endearment to a child

Nothing changes overnight.

Change is constant and inevitable, of course, but it is also gradual. Voldemort didn’t build a near-invincible army to wage war overnight. Dumbledore didn’t craft his opposing army, carefully nudging and prodding his chess pieces into play, overnight.

The youngest of his soldiers didn’t begin their tragedy overnight.

But this is the moment when things begin to settle differently in their minds, the moment when milestones change; from birthdays and holidays to battles and deaths.

‘Remus, wake up!’ Remus gropes blindly for his wand and points it vaguely in the direction of his assailant. Sirius rolls his eyes, grabs Remus’ wand, and uses it to shine light directly in his face.

Remus makes a faintly disgruntled noise, covers his head with his pillow, then slams his bed’s curtains shut with as much force as he can muster.

Sirius shrugs. ‘I tried my best.’

‘You did _not_.’ James stares in disbelief at Sirius as he returns to lounge on his unmade bed, the only person ready in the mess of the seventh-year Gryffindor dorm. ‘Will you get up and be useful for once?’

‘It’s not my fault I’m the only one who bothered to get ready in time.’

‘Why can’t I find any socks?’ Peter wails, cross-legged on the floor and covered in piles of clothes. ‘Do you know how many socks I brought to Hogwarts this year? Ninety-eight. Do you know how many I have now? Zero. I just don’t understand what happens to them.’

‘Remus transfigures them into little birds.’ Sirius replies absently, his focus on conjuring sparks from his wand. ‘He has been since first year. ’Course, he wasn’t that good at it back then. Blew up a few on accident.’

‘I thought we were keeping that a secret.’ Remus mumbles through Peter’s yell, still trying to hold onto the remnants of his sleep.

‘I figured last day of Hogwarts is as good a time as any to tell him.’

James peeks out from behind his curtains to look hopelessly at Sirius. ‘Get him some socks.’

‘But I’m already packed.’ Sirius gestures at his open trunk and the precariously leaning tower of clothes inside it. James disappears behind his curtains with a curse.

‘Are you lot ready?’ Lily asks from the doorway, wearing dress robes the colour of her eyes. ‘You know we’ve got to go down in – wow. Never mind.’

They all have their reasons for joining the fight against Voldemort. Lily will because she is about to emerge into a world where her only choices are to fight or hide, and to her, that’s no choice at all.

‘Lily!’ James cries, brightening immediately. ‘You look amazing.’

‘So do you.’ Lily replies, lips twitching. James looks down at his bare legs and neon pink shirt he’d thrown on because he was cold and decides to salvage what’s left of his dignity by disappearing again.

‘I know.’ He adds as an afterthought, voice muffled by the curtain.

‘Nice save, mate.’ Remus interjects, still pretending to sleep. James chucks a pillow at him.

‘You all do know we’re graduating in an hour, right?’

‘Sit and enjoy the chaos one last time.’ Sirius offers, grinning. Sirius will join the fight to reject his family as they did him, as a final blow to his parents. The yearning to fight almost engulfs the child tucked away in a corner of his heart, the child that chose to run instead of resist, and almost engulfs his lingering shame.

‘I’d love to, but I’ve still got a little packing to do. Make sure this lot are ready soon.’

‘I will not.’

Lily shrugs and leaves.

‘That’s it.’ Peter struggles to get up without stepping on any of the clothes and raises his wand. ‘Accio socks!’

‘PETER, NO!’

Every pair of socks the boys collectively own come flying out towards Peter, toppling over Sirius’ tower of clothes and leaving the room even messier than it already was.

To no one’s surprise, they arrive late to the graduation.

* * *

Graduation ceremonies at Hogwarts were always held one day after all the younger students had left for the holidays, and were always elaborately grand affairs. Minerva McGonagall notices the four spaces in the line of students and silently hopes today won’t be any different.

‘Elizabeth Donaldson!’ she calls.

Elizabeth steps up to shake hands with Dumbledore and McGonagall, throwing a smile towards her beaming father and the floating camera. The crowd in the hall turn their heads to the starry ceiling – graduation night always seemed to be clear – and watch as glittering dust seems to fall from the stars themselves. It follows an erratic but clear path as it floats all the way down to Elizabeth's outstretched wand and swirls around her figure before settling as a clear and solid ring on her wand. Lifting it off, Elizabeth pushes it onto her middle finger and waves her wand, raining green sparks onto the watching guests.

Lily watches her bounce off the stage, anxiety twisting her stomach. She passes a glance over the assembled parents. She had managed to keep from looking in their direction the entire evening, but looks now, aware her name is next to be called. Lily's heart sinks further, her fears realised. The four people – and the fifth – that she had hoped to see were still absent. A movement at the front catches her eye, and she looks down to see an older couple smiling and waving at her. Familiar features jump out at her, though she had never seen them before, and she smiles a little in response at the couple who could only be James’ parents.

McGonagall clears her throat. 'Lily Ev-’

‘OI! WAIT!’

The four boys run into the hall and push past the line of alphabetically organised graduates to stand at the front, right behind Lily.

‘Alright, Evans?’ James gasps, out of breath.

Lily’s small smile grows. Remus gestures for McGonagall to continue, having collapsed onto the floor, and Sirius pushes his hair back into place, the most dishevelled he had ever been, sat beside him. Peter smiles at Lily and James grins with all his teeth, standing pride of place beside her. Lily brushes her hand against his, then turns back to Dumbledore and McGonagall.

‘Lily Evans!’ McGonagall finishes, her expression softened by a smile. The boys’ whoops and cheers fill the entire hall.

Lily shakes her teachers’ hands with watery eyes and raises her wand to the sky, stretching as far as she can. Her tears make the stardust shimmer even more than usual, and her heart shakes with equal parts grief and joy. She places the ring onto the middle finger of her wand hand and waves silver sparks over the people below.

‘She looks radiant.’ James whispers, watching her beam at them, his thoughts drifting as his eyes fall to her ring.

The other boys burst into laughter.

‘You… are such a… sap.’ Remus gasps between shouts of laughter, wiping tears from his eyes.

‘”She looks radiant.”’ Sirius mimics with a snort, and the other two laugh even harder.

‘Shut up.’ James mutters with red cheeks.

McGonagall gives them her best glare, wordlessly ordering them to their appropriate places in the line. The boys forget their mockery to smile innocently back on reflex. She relents, if only to hide her own watery eyes.

‘Very well then, James Potter!’

James stands as proud as a king during the ceremony, and waves his ring excitedly at his parents before running off the stage to hug Lily.

‘Sirius Black!’

Sirius receives his ring disinterestedly. His façade breaks when he raises his wand over the crowd and smiles at Euphemia and Fleamont Potter, both dabbing at their eyes.

‘Remus Lupin!’

Remus’ parents watch him with pride shining in their eyes as they see their son standing tall on a day they once feared would never come. For once, his happiness is not bittersweet.

‘Peter Pettigrew!’

Peter rushes to join the rest of his friends and feels delight swell in his chest as they sling arms round his shoulders and ruffle his hair.

Peter looks out at the Hall, afterwards, and it seems bigger than ever with all the empty space. On this side of graduation, the world looks bigger, too. Peter will join the fight because he is afraid, and he has always counted on his friends to protect him. Where they go, he follows.

James grabs Lily’s hand and leads her to his parents, ginning widely.

‘ _Haan, haan, aao_. Let me introduce everyone to my mischief-maker of a son.’ Euphemia sighs, hands on her hips. James beams at her in response, far too used to getting his own way to take his mother’s grumbling seriously. Euphemia’s stern expression crumbles at her son’s smile, and her mouth reluctantly curves in response. ‘I’m proud of you, _beta_. Though not as much as I could be.’ she adds with a raised eyebrow, earning a laugh from James.

‘And my darling Lily! Oh I knew who you were the second I saw you, James has told us so much about you. You must come around to visit! In fact, we’re holding a graduation party for James and Sirius in a few days, we can celebrate yours, too!’

‘Wha- Mum! You didn’t tell me about that!’

‘What, my children are graduating, I can’t throw a proper party? Sirius, what are you doing all the way over there, come give me a hug.’

Sirius makes a half-hearted protest, for appearances’ sake, before letting her envelop him in her arms. The others pretend not to notice when his shoulders give the slightest shake at Euphemia’s delighted ‘I’m so proud of you.’

Fleamont claps a hand on his son’s shoulder, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiles at James and Lily. ‘I’m proud of you all, too. Although, James, I _did_ send you that bottle of Sleekeazy’s-’

‘Yes, Dad, and I ignored it-’

Remus leads his parents over to the others, to Euphemia’s delight. Leaving the others to chat, he pulls Lily away by her wrist.

‘I’m sorry your parents couldn’t be here, but I’m sure they’re proud of you.’

Lily sucks in a shaky breath. ‘I invited Petunia, but-’ She sighs, pushes a hand through her hair. ‘It’s stupid. We haven’t spoken to each other since Mum and Dad’s funeral, I don’t know why I expected-’

She cuts herself off again and looks back towards the others. James winks at her, though his smile is sad. Her mouth curves in a soft answer. ‘I’ve enough of a family with all of you here.’

‘Exactly.’ Remus replies, his voice firm. ‘You’ve got us. And don’t worry, we’ve got a whole lot of distractions lined up yet.’

Remus will join the fight because there is no place in the world for a person like him, and because he wants to keep close to the only people in the world who helped him forget it.

Peter brings his mother over to the others, clothes a little rumpled from how tight she had hugged him. (Peter will cause her a thousand different heartaches over the years, but for now all she feels is pride.) Seeing all four together, Lily frowns.

‘Oh, right, why were you four so late? You almost missed my graduation!’

‘Sorry, there was this whole thing with Peter’s socks-’

‘Cut it out, remember who you’re talking to. I mean it, if you lot were late preparing for whatever prank you’ve planned for the end of the year-’

‘We haven’t planned anything, Lils, honest!’ James says, childishly earnest. ‘Well, _almost_ nothing. Couldn’t let our reign at Hogwarts end without a… bang.’

There's an expectant silence. Lily, Sirius, Remus, and Peter stare at James.

Lily opens her mouth.

‘Without-’ James repeats hurriedly, cutting her off. ‘A… Bang.’

A loud bang echoes throughout the hall.

‘It came from the grounds!’ a student shouts to be heard over the exclamations from the crowd.

‘Timed that perfectly!’ James yells over his shoulder, running to join the mass of people leaving to investigate before anyone could correct him. Laughing, Lily grabs Sirius’ wrist and follows.

Stepping outside, the source of the commotion is immediately identified.

‘Oh, Merlin.’ Lily breathes, trying very hard to keep her face straight. ‘You're idiots.’

‘It’s helped us so often during our years at Hogwarts,’ Peter gasps between bouts of laughter, ‘We had to reward it with its favourite pastime.’

The Whomping Willow looked as content as a tree could, so many floating figures around it that at first glance, they appeared to be oddly-shaped flowers. Squinting, Lily notices familiar shapes; greasy hair, a stern mouth, half-moon glasses. Lily stares as the effigies of her former best friend and her teachers bob in and out of the tree’s branches.

‘What…?’

‘Just watch.’ Peter grins.

The Willow lands a hit on the floating Snape head and it bursts with a bang, to the gasps of the onlookers. Above them, the night sky lights up with glowing fireflies that spell out “Celebrate, Hogwarts! You’ve rid yourself of him!”

Snape sneers at the laughter that erupts. ‘Well done, you’ve finally figured out how to cast Wingardium Leviosa.’

‘And that’s not all!’ James announces, spreading his arms wide. A floating McGonagall head bursts above him, spelling out “You four were always my favourite students.” ‘For our last trick-‘

‘I should never have told him about muggle magicians.’ Lily mutters to herself.

‘-we will finally succeed where all have tried and failed.’ At his words, the four of them turn and run.

The crowd mutters and surges forward, despite themselves. Lily, watching them with narrowed eyes, gasps as she sees their aim. ‘They’re going to touch the trunk of the Willow!’

‘No!’ McGonagall cries, memories flashing to the student who had lost an eye trying. She whisks out her wand, but she’s too late; they’ve already reached the tree, running like the wind and laughing in pure exhilaration.

The tree snaps at the balloons, leaving precious few branches to thrash at the boys below. They dodge and run, muscle memory of hundreds of nights spent escaping the same tree thundering through their blood. They reach the trunk and the tree ignores them in favour of the floating piñatas above, not interested in causing harm to itself. The boys grin at each other through the cheers and whoops of the crowd behind them, and pull out their wands.

‘For Hogwarts to remember us.’ Remus says quietly, as they use their wands to carve their respective paw- and hoofprints into the wood. They take a moment to blink away the memories clouding their eyes, then, as one, race back through the swinging branches. They move with complete trust in each other, pushing one out of reach and pulling another up, tumbling through and emerging victorious, their scratches and grins trophies on their skin. They take a bow, as one, and a duck waddles past them.

‘A duck?’ Peter says, confused.

‘A duck?’ A student echoes.

‘A duck!’ Someone else shouts.

‘What’s it going to do?’

‘Look at it waddle!’

‘There’s no ducks in Hogwarts, is there? I’ve never seen a duck here before.’

‘Do you think it’s the giant squid, transfigured?’

‘I don’t remember this part of the plan.’ Peter mutters to the others.

‘Well, I suppose we just forgot to tell you about the bit where we just sneak a normal duck onto school grounds.’ Sirius replies, sardonic. ‘What is it doing here? They’re supposed to be cheering for us!’

They walk back towards Lily, who has both her hands clasped over her mouth to muffle her laughter.

‘You did this?!’ James cries, his voice bloodied with betrayal. Lily just laughs harder through her fingers.

‘Why a duck?’ Peter asks, baffled.

‘That’s – that’s exactly what everyone else asks themselves when you make all those stupid rat, wolf, deer, dog puns.’ Lily gasps through her laughter. ‘This isn’t any different.’

‘That’s what Hogwarts thinks of us?’ Sirius exclaims, outraged, gesturing at the enraptured crowd watching the duck waddle towards the lake.

‘I can’t believe you’ve overshadowed our huge display of how clever and talented we are with a duck.’ Remus starts to laugh, too. ‘It took us months to plan all this.’

The assembled witches and wizards jump as an even louder bang comes from the direction of the Whomping Willow. “Lily,” the text reads, “Will you marry me?”

‘What.’ Lily glares.

‘WHAT?’ James squeaks.

‘I nearly forgot about that!’ Sirius cheers up. Remus and Peter fall to the floor laughing, clutching their stomachs to themselves.

Another bang sounds, and another Snape effigy explodes to form the words “No, be _my_ dark bride!”

Snape snarls, his face blotching red. ‘Shut up, you filthy blood traitors.’

The atmosphere shifts in an instant. Remus and Peter’s eyes snap towards James and Sirius’, one pair uncomfortable, the other excited. Lily breathes in deep, a thousand emotions flitting through her brain and heart.

Sirius steps forward in line with James, a hard glint in his eyes. Subtly, James moves his hand to hold him back.

There’s a beat of anticipation, then McGonagall takes charge. ‘All right, everyone back into the hall, come along, now.’

‘That was disgustingly mature of you.’ Sirius says, with a smirk that’s a little too close to mocking. Snape stalks past them with a triumphant air.

‘Believe me, it took all I had.’ James’ gritted teeth melt into a genuine smile as his gaze falls on Lily laughing with his parents, swept ahead of them by the crowd. ‘Still, it’s easier when I remember we’ve bigger things to worry about than Snape’s jealousy.’

‘It’s worse than jealousy.’ Sirius snaps, the words “blood traitor” still ringing in his ears. ‘Or are you so love-struck you’ve forgotten the war waiting for us as soon as we leave?’

James stops, startled at his genuine anger. ‘Sirius-’

‘What _are_ we going to do?’ Remus interrupts, his thoughts on the question that hovered just out of sight in all their conversations. ‘After we've left?’

‘Not yet.’ Peter interjects, and the others turn to him in surprise. ‘Graduation isn’t even over yet,’ he clarifies, voice softer with all their eyes on him. ‘We don’t need to think about it yet.’

‘He’s right.’ James replies, his voice calm. ‘I _know_ , Sirius – but today isn’t a day to think about all that. We’ve got the rest of this bloody war to think about it.’

Someone jostles Sirius from behind, the crowd still moving past them, and he sighs.

‘Fine. But I’m taking it out on this duck.’ He lifts Lily’s duck, which was now completely purple, and the others burst into startled laughter. James laughs the hardest, wrapping reassuring arms around Sirius and Peter's shoulders. He will join the fight. To him, there is no other option available. He will always take the chance to defend those he loves.

They push to the front, taking their places beside their parents and Lily.

‘I am glad to see this demonstration of how much you have learnt during your time at Hogwarts.’ Dumbledore twinkles at them, in a voice that usually caught attention. Sure enough, a comfortable silence falls as Dumbledore regards his former students.

‘I am glad to see how much you have _all_ learned. Knowledge is a priceless tool, one which I wish to see you all cling to in the next stages of your lives. Without knowledge, fear is bred; without knowledge, so is hatred.

‘Graduation has always been the edge of the precipice of change, but your decision on where you choose to leap matters now more than ever. Today is the day you inherit the earth from the generation who held it before. I hope you will choose to live on it seeing each other as we all are; fellow human beings, who have always prospered from joining together, rather than tearing apart. I hope you choose to go forward and work on the quality you each hold that brings a little light to the world, and use it to make a brighter future for us all.

‘I hope you will do better than we have.

‘The world is in your hands, now, you graduates of Hogwarts. I know you will astound us with what you accomplish next.’

The assembled cheer and applaud, some harder than others. The ones who clap the loudest and the ones who remain still take note of each other, and both sides feel the lines being drawn in the sand. Dumbledore watches the schism form, and takes note of it, too.

Later, they stand on Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters and watch the Hogwarts Express disappear into the distance for the last time. The sky is a blaze of reds and oranges and pinks and they all look a little older in the rising sunlight. When the five no-longer-children reach into their pockets, they each find a note written in familiar, slanting handwriting, a message and an address.

_You are invited to the first meeting of the Order of the Phoenix._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first ever multi-chap fic! I'm not great with completing stories longer than a chapter, and didn't want to abandon a fic, so I've been working on and off on this for months to finish before I could post it. I'm still not completely done, but I thought I'd post the first chapter to give me motivation to finish the last stretch (I would love it if you reviewed, even if it's just 'i read to the end' so I can get more motivation from your comments!) I'll hopefully be posting a chapter every one or two weeks :) i'm terrible at titles so i just picked a series of unfortunate events dedication that i felt fit, i might change it later.


	2. Chapter 2

'How many people did your mum invite here?' Peter asks, incredulous. James throws up his hands in resignation.

'It was probably in the hundreds even before she roped yours and Remus' parents into it. Oh, and then she invited everyone Lily's ever spoken to, to make up for Petunia refusing to come.''

'Aren't we late?' Sirius interrupts. His tone is casual, but the other two notice the tension between his shoulders.

'This isn't like your parents' parties, Sirius. It'll be... more casual. No one will mind if we're a bit late. But,' James replies, shoving him in-between his shoulder blades, 'If you really want, I'll brave the horrifying notion of propriety a little sooner.'

Sirius snorts, ruffles James' hair in just the wrong way in response. 'Can't have that, it'd be worse than Azkaban.'

'Is there a reason,' Remus enters the room, speaking over James' dismayed shout, 'That you're all up here instead of helping out downstairs?'

'Yeah,' Sirius replies, dodging James' thrown hairbrush. 'To get out of helping out.'

'Made it out!' Lily gasps, shutting the door behind her. 'I knew you'd all be here. Mind explaining why you've left me to fend for myself when it's a graduation party for all of us? I've had twenty different people come up to me and ask me what I plan to do with my life.'

'Your problem, love, was going downstairs in the first place. We're the guests of honour, we can afford to be fashionably late. You look gorgeous.' James whispers the last part, keen to avoid the others' good-natured teasing. Lily grins and kisses him.

'Well, you'd better come down soon. I can't stand one more look of pity when they realise I'm muggleborn.'

They glance at each other as they all remember Dumbedore's note. It's the first quiet moment they've had together since graduation, the first chance they've had to discuss their futures. Even the chatter from below seems to soften; the loudest sounds are the raindrops hitting the window, keeping time with the beating of their hearts.

'We're all in?' James asks, though it's hardly a question.

''Course.' Sirius answers dismissively, and the others agree. Though Lily knows this is bigger than her, she feels her heart grow warm anyway. There's no question they would fight for her.

(If some answer a little hesitantly, the others forgive. It is a war, after all, and they're about to join the front line.)

'We should burn these.' Remus suggests, twisting the message through his fingers. 'So there's no chance of anyone finding out.'

They hold their slips out and set them aflame, and there's something solemn about the whole affair. The invitation, address, and warning turn to ashes atop their fingertips.

James watches the warning be consumed by fire, and worries at his lip. '"Tell no one." Do you think that includes Mum and Dad, too?'

Remus glances at him, aware he already knows the answer. 'Dumbledore knows best.'

'What Dumbledore doesn't know won't hurt him.' Sirius replies, and James nods.

'We can't keep something this big from them.'

'Tell them after the party.' Lily says, and they all blink, returning to the present. She glances at Peter, who hasn’t spoken since he agreed. (The others, lost in their worry for their parents, don’t notice.)

'After the party.' James agrees, and they start to move down the stairs.

‘We can meet up at Sirius’ tomorrow, and go from there.’ Remus suggests, his voice clearer and surer, now. The decision was made; now all they had to do was follow through.

‘As long as it’s after breakfast. The only food in my place right now is a jar of olives.’

‘I’m alright with olives!’ Peter replies, a little too brightly. Lily glances at him again, and he avoids her eye.

‘Which is why I will make sure they’re gone before you get here.’

‘I am  _ not _ eating them so Peter can’t have any.’ Remus interjects.

‘C’mon Remus, you know I hate olives.’

‘Then why do you have a jar of them?’

‘I said I’d eat them!’

‘I won’t willingly be hospitable and you know it, Pete.’

Lily steps in line with Peter and nudges him with her shoulder. He shakes his head at her with a smile, and hurries to catch up with James. Lily bites her lip. Peter had always been the best of them at hiding his thoughts.

They emerge into the grand hall, lit by a soft glow that seemed to emanate from nowhere. The room is gracefully decorated in green and gold, the tables laden with appetisers. The sound of conversation ebbs and flows, the heartbeat of the room.

‘Time to mingle.’ Sirius shudders.

'At least the food’s good.' Peter stares at the tables with glazed eyes.

'The only worthwhile part of these parties.' Sirius agrees. 'C'mon Pete, before someone corners us.' They race to the nearest table, attracting far more attention than they would have if they'd walked.

Mary is the first to come up to the others, dodging her way through the guests. 'And where have you lot been? Once they realised I’m a graduate too, I kept getting asked what field I'm going into, and whether I've got a job lined up yet. It's too soon after graduation for me to have an existential crisis.'

Lily laughs. 'Guess it's my turn to save you.'

'Your turn?' Remus asks.

'Yeah, I've been interrupting all of Lily's awkward conversations to ask her to dance. That's supposed to be your job, Potter.'

'There's no music.' James replies, amused.

Mary points finger guns at him. 'And by the time they'd processed that, we were gone.'

'Oh, hey, McDonald.' Sirius says through a mouthful of spring rolls. Peter waves as well as he can with his arms full of snacks for the others.

'Hi, Black.' The two had developed a relationship of mutual respect ever since their best friends had started dating. Both fiercely protective, Sirius out of jealousy and Mary out of concern, they had bonded over their initial distress at their relationship. 'Wait, are you guys in matching clothes?'

The five look at each other in varying states of dismay. The boys wore navy blue kurtas with delicate silver embroidery and Lily wore a lehnga to match.

'It was my mum's idea.' Peter explains glumly. 'She thought it would be adorable. James' parents agreed because they thought it would be hilarious, and then Remus' didn't want him to be the only one left out, and here we are.'

Mary snorted. 'Well, at least you look nice.'

‘Of course they look nice, I dressed them!’ Euphemia finally reaches them, having stopped to greet everyone she bumped into on the way. Fleamont, beside her, reaches out to fuss with James’ hair.

‘Dad! Stop it.’

Fleamont sighs, trying not to show his disappointment too keenly. ‘Fine, fine. Have you kids met everyone, yet? Oh, don’t moan like that, I know a couple you will enjoy talking to. Take some snacks from poor Peter and come with me.’

Lily glances at Mary. ‘Thanks Mr Potter, I’ll be along in a bit.’

Lily smiles at Mary as they amble towards the nearest table. ‘So.’

Mary smiles back, resigned. ‘So.’

‘Not to rehash what everyone’s been saying since the party started-‘

‘-But what am I going to do now graduation’s done with?’ Mary sighs, her smile fading to leave behind a weariness too old for her years. ‘It wasn’t hard to decide, now I’ve just got to convince you to, too.’

‘Mary-‘

‘Don’t be an idiot, Lily.’ Mary snaps, and the harshness of her voice makes Lily start. Mary sighs. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. But you know there’s only one outcome if you stay.’

‘Not if we fight!’

‘You’re going to take on You-Know-Who yourself, then? Come on, Lily. What’s the point in staying in a world that’s rejected us?’

‘Because it’s my world!’ There’s a fierce light in Lily’s eyes as she answers. ‘Because it’s my home, my life, my family – my magic. They’ve no right to take that from me, and I’ll fight them as long as they try. The wizarding world is my home.’

‘But it isn’t mine.’ The words seem to settle the debate; sadness falls like snow onto their shoulders, weighing them down. ‘It’s not that magic isn’t, well, magical – but even at Hogwarts I wasn’t safe. You remember Mulciber-‘ She takes a shuddering breath, and Lily pulls her into a tight hug, tears pricking at her eyes and guilt pricking at her heart.

They had hardly ever argued, even though they lived together, only bickered; their only real fight had occurred after Lily had found out what Mulciber had done to Mary. It had not taken long for the news to reach her, witnesses knowing they were close; but by the time Lily reached the corridor, it was empty.

Lily had found Mary frozen in bed, not crying or curled in on herself, just sitting in the exact middle, legs folded beneath her.

'Mary?' She had asked, on the verge of tears herself.

'I don't understand why you're friends with him.' She had replied, her voice cold. 'Snape is as bad as the rest of them. Pick a side. You can't be friends with me and him, too.'

The sounds of the party muffle as Mary hides her head in Lily’s shoulder. ‘You’re going to fight, aren’t you?’

Lily hesitates, wishes for a moment she could give any other answer. ‘I think it would tear me apart if I didn’t.’

‘I think,’ Mary replies slowly, ‘That if the sorting hat sorted me now, it wouldn’t put me in Gryffindor.’

‘Hi.’ A voice interrupts them, and they break apart to see a scarred face smiling down at them. ‘I’m guessing you’re the two muggleborn graduates everyone’s talking about. Mind if I sit?’

* * *

‘Stop thinking of plans to escape.’ Fleamont’s eyes twinkle at his son. ‘Trust your parents. You’ll enjoy talking to these two.’

‘Yes, behave yourself for one day at least-‘ Euphemia breaks off into a series of coughs.

‘You okay, Mum?’ Sirius asks, concerned.

‘Haan, I’m fine-‘

‘I don’t think you are.’ Fleamont replies, concerned. ‘I’ll take you up.’

‘But the guests-’

'The kids can take over hosting for now. You'll behave, won't you, boys?' Fleamont asks, pointedly.

The boys give resigned looks in reply, which soothes Euphemia more than their angelic smiles would have done.

'Acha, I suppose a bit of rest won't hurt.' Her voice is a little hoarse after the coughing, and the lines on her face somehow seem deeper than they had a moment before.

'We'll be fine, Mum.' James reassures her, trying to ignore the worry that settles against him. 

'Mrs Potter, are you ok?' A concerned couple peer at her pale face.

'Oh, perfect timing!' Euphemia smiles. 'Boys, this is Frank and Alice Longbottom.' She stops to clear her throat, and Fleamont finishes for her.

'We're dear friends to their parents. They've just gotten married - congratulations again, you too - and they're both aurors.'

With a last smile at the boys' exclamations, Euphemia and Fleamont walk upstairs, Fleamont's arm tight around Euphemia’s waist.

'Aurors?' Sirius asks, begrudgingly impressed. 'Have you fought any of my relatives?'

Alice and Frank laugh, a little uncomfortably.

'We've only been in the field a few years.' Alice explains. 'There's a lot of training you have to do before you're allowed to carry out missions.'

'How long did it take you?' James asks.

'Oh, about five years after graduating Hogwarts? It's not a field they want you to go into without proper preparation.'

'And what has the ministry been doing to combat Vol- You-Know-Who?' Remus asks, brow furrowing. 'What do you think of our chances?'

Alice and Frank exchange looks and fall silent. 'The ministry is afraid.' Frank finally answers. 'Hardly anyone wants to fight - full-scale war is hardly what the senior management signed up for - so even us newer recruits, who knew exactly what we were getting into, are essentially tasked with crowd control. We're just appeasing the public while we wait for Dumbledore to deal with things.'

The boys visibly deflate.

'So there's no hope?' Peter asks quietly.

'Oh, there's definitely hope!' Alice replies brightly, giving Frank a look that he grimaces at. 'There's a lot we can do that slips under management's radar, and there's Dumbledore, of course. He'll lead us out of this mess just like he defeated Grindelwald. And in the meantime he's got us to help him along.'

'Us, too!' James interjects eagerly, oblivious to the others' silent groans.

'Probably not the best idea to spread that around.' Alice laughs, vocalising the other boys' concerns. 'There are a lot of people who are just looking to give Dumbledore’s supporters trouble.' The conversation falls into a lull, and the two groups regard each other, the same question on each person's mind.

'Well,' Frank says eventually, 'Congratulations to you all! You should go and enjoy your party. And perhaps we'll see more of each other soon.'

'Perhaps.' Remus echoes, grinning. The couple leaves with a smile.

* * *

'Who are you?' Mary asks, shaking the square-jawed witch's hand. She's overly polite, as if to make up for the tension in the air.

'Emmeline Vance.' she replies, her smile soft on her tough face. 'I'm muggleborn, too.'

'Oh.' The sound barely escapes her lips.

'Yes, oh.' She motions for them to help themselves to the food. They pass the trays around, going through the motions of putting food on their plates, but none of them eat.

'You looked like you could do with some advice from a wise old lady.' Emmeline finally says. Her smile sits a little strangely on her face; the deep lines don't seem set to give away smiles easily. It's clear she's trying to be gentle, but the girls have no patience for it.

'So is it worth it?' Mary asks, cutting straight to the chase. 'Is it worth staying in the wizarding world while being a muggleborn?’

Emmeline seems to appreciate the direct question. The smile falls from her face and it settles into a neutral look that fits her more.

‘No.’ she answers simply. ‘But I don’t plan on letting the world stay this way. So you just have to decide whether you’re willing to fight to change or whether you’re willing to leave everything you’ve known and start over. Neither option will be easy.’

‘I’ve decided.’ Mary replies instantly, and Lily’s heart falls.

‘I have, too.’ The girls exchange a look, and everything that was needed to be said was said.

Emmeline passes them both a scrap of parchment and with a wave of her wand, a sentence appears on the paper. Both girls smile when they realise it’s an email address.

‘You can contact me whenever you wish and I’ll do all I can to help you. But for now,’ and her face cracks into the first genuine smile, ‘You should enjoy your party.’

* * *

Mary is the last guest to leave. Lily holds onto her as long as she can. ‘You’ll write?’

‘Of course.’ Mary replies, voice muffled in Lily’s shoulder. ‘Even if I do end up having to use a postman instead of an owl.’

LiIy laughs, though it sounds more like a sob. ‘I’m sure you’ll meet loads of new people in Greece, but none of them is allowed to be your best friend. I’ll apparate over and charm your skin pink if you even think about it.’

‘I could pull it off.’ Mary grins, then pulls away. ‘Okay, I’m leaving before you have me bawling, too. You crying is nothing new, but I have a reputation to uphold.’ Lily sniffs and laughs and waves until Mary disapperates.

James walks over and wraps an arm around her shoulder. Lily hides her face in his neck. ‘How was your mum?’

James takes a breath before answering. ‘I think she’s coming down with something. She was sleeping by the time I went up.’

It had been hard to watch his mum cough in her sleep, so small in the big bed. His parents aren't invincible. It was something he'd always known, but only just realised, and in that moment, he was a little older than he had been a second ago.

They stand in comfortable silence for a while before he continues. ‘I didn’t tell them. About - you know - the thing tomorrow. Dad seemed a little worried, and I didn’t see the point in worrying him even more. I’ll tell them eventually, just - not now.’

Lily doesn’t reply, just moves so her arms are around him, too. They stand in silence until the flickering flame of the candles run out of wax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I have... no excuse. I absolutely did not imagine updating would take this long. I guess I got demotivated with the lack of response, and then I had exams, and then I sort of forgot about the story... But no matter what, I plan on finishing this story. The later chapters are done anyway, it's just the beginning ones I have to get through, and I actually like the story so I plan on publishing it all whether anyone reads it or not haha.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i'll do my best to update regularly, and i'd love it if you could leave a comment or come chat with me on my tumblr @letthebookbegin!


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